Quotable Quotes

“Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.”
~ E.L. Doctorow

A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.

- Oscar Wilde

Month of November

Saturday, June 30, 2012

In which I've completed the first draft of a manuscript...Now what?

I signed The End to the bottom of my last page. It was late last night, so all I really remember in the haze was a feeling of euphoria and a bit of panic.

Now what? I've had a couple editors tell me they would like to see more of my work, but for editing purposes. Which means breaking the budget to polish and perfect my work in order to even get to the point where it is submission worthy...

I could pay those same editors to write my query letter, synopsis, outline, and everything...pretty much do all the hard work for me.

Again, we run into the money problem. Here I am trying - with my husband - to get us out of debt. This writing thing was supposed to help us at one point or another. I'm not seeing how putting more money into it up front is going to help in the long run. But I also don't see myself stopping the art and craft of writing either. So my dilemma is...


I could pray that a fairy godeditor decides to take pity on me and edit my work for free, knowing that they have a winner of a story to sell once they've done the difficult part. I have actually signed up for a couple of contests that would give me thousands of dollars worth of editing packages for free. That's IF I actually win it. Knowing my luck lately, that is highly unlikely.

I could self edit, put it through the critique group ringer, and let all my friends and family have a go at chopping it to little bits. Then I could risk a free self-publishing site which would take away the costs, but only return me as much as I am able to market myself...

I am not a salesperson, but I better start learning I think. :(


It all boils down to my own impatience and need for the world to see that I CAN and DO write better than Stephenie Meyer. I definitely don't rank close to J.K. Rowling, but I love telling my stories and I know I've got something publishable.

Even if it is just a diamond in the rough right now.

Which begs the question again...


PS Donations toward my poor, starving artist fund would be appreciated. Check, cash, or money order please. :)

Friday, June 29, 2012

In which words are found and I eat them...

Your words were found and I ate them,

And Your words became for me a joy and the delight of my heart;

For I have been called by Your name,

O Lord God of hosts.

~ Jeremiah 15:16

I recently completed the B90X challenge (though I fell just short of completing it in the 90 day goal). I actually am starting over in the hopes of making it this time.

The first time I went through this challenge, I confess I don't remember this verse in Jeremiah. At that point in the challenge, I was behind and pushing to get done on time...things fell through the cracks.

I was listening to James McDonald's Walk in the Word broadcast this morning and this verse stood up and shouted at me. Your words were found and I ate them...

More importantly, God's word became a joy and delight for Jeremiah. Now I don't know if you know this, but Jeremiah was known as the weeping prophet. His task was pretty much to warn Israel of its doomed path and weep over Jerusalem's fallen state. Not really a job I would ever covet. But God told him to do it. He wrote Lamentations as his addendum to the other doom and gloom prophecies in the first book.

There is hope in those pages, but you have to squint REALLY hard to see it.

All this to say, Jeremiah STILL found joy and delight in God's word. It was a comfort and sustenance for him as he carried out God's less-than-happy work.

I love that. I want that. I need that.

I will not by any means compare myself to Jeremiah. He had a job no one else wanted or appreciated.

Right now though, I am a wife and mother. And there are days when those jobs are far from glamorous - right up there with uncoveted and unappreciated. I still have the roles even when I am sick and tired and wanting to be off by myself somewhere where no one else can reach me. I do not lose the task God has set before me just because I say I quit...and I've only said those words in jest, so don't get your undies in a bundle.

I love motherhood. I love being a wife. Sometimes, I just love myself more. What I want more than ever is to love God and God's Word SO much, that loving myself doesn't even cross my mind. That my joy and delight with His word will make my task seem like the LEAST I can do to please Him.

I DO love God's Word. I still love me more. I long for the day when that is no longer true.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

In which I discuss freefalling and the detrimental effects of late (early) mornings...

I am freefalling right now. It's scary and exciting, and I was never much of a risk taker. That's definitely changing.

So what's happening with me lately?

I'm kind of at a strange time right now. It's good and bad. Good because I am definitely in pursuit of my dream of writing.

Bad, because I feel like several other areas of my life are taking a hit - namely, my family and my sleep.

How does one juggle all the dreams and goals in life? I am not expecting to be a superstar and win fame and fortune on this endeavor. It would be wonderful, but I also am realistic. I may never make it past the first few royalty checks, if that. But gosh darn it, I'm going to keep trying.

The problem is that I don't know if I can do it all. Work part time as a registered nurse in a job that feels more like a full time one - with all the stress and daily grind. (As I write this, I realize I need to be up in four hours for another turn at the grinding wheel. Grrr...)

Believe me, the positive attitude and faith has been top priority lately. I've spent time daily in the Word, listed the things I'm grateful for time and again, and even spent time nursing my sick children and loving on my husband.

It doesn't stop me from feeling utterly devoid of life and drained. I want the world to stop spinning for just one day - just so I can find my bearings again. I'm truly freefalling, and I want to fly.

This blog post is a fine example. I'm supposed to be maintaining my blog and building a support structure/fan base for my writing. Instead, I find myself going months or weeks without writing only to shove a bunch of words onto the blank screen in the hopes that people won't notice I was gone.

Where did the consistency go? Or did I ever have it to begin with?

Okay, in light of my mercurial mood and the lateness (earliness) of the hour...I must say goodnight. Perhaps my outlook with be a little better come morning.

Yes, and four hours of sleep is totally refreshing when I've gone the last four or five days on about six hours all together.